So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
