Kiss
Puke
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
