no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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