so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
