I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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