Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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