I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think my mom watched the whole time
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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