I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
