you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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