How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
