My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
