i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Pooping to opera.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
