in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
