I wish my penis had an off switch
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
