I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
