I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
