best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
