Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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