Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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