I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
