20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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