no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Houston, we have a squirter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize