We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
