We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I supernannyed him into submission
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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