ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my phone needs a breathalizer
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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