Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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