I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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