No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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