She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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