Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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