not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
