I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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