so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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