I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
