Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid