oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT