Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.