at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music