I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
4 words: hood of his car
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.