so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.