I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize