Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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