she woke up with a sticky ear
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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