This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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