seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
