At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she smelled like a LAN party
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
