I need help removing her.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
