I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize