So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
