we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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