So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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