Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
operation have a gay friend backfired
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
