I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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