i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize