i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
