He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do herpes really smell.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
