38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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