Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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