you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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