he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize